Happy One Month Of Agony

Happy one month of Agony
1 september 2007; Saturday

He left a teddy bear at my doorstep. I dont know wat was his intentions.
We already broke up, but he is still bothering me with Gifts and sweet words.
Went looking all over for him feeling so confused.
Oh well.. its just a big bear.. from that jerk, so what to do with tat piece of shit? Skate obstacle!
Threw it on the floor, ollied and boneless over it. Some others joined in.
Than Saiful took the bear and threw it on top of da roof.
I went totally blank.. okayyy... Its gone for real now.
Wanted to forget bout everything and skate, but i cant stop my tears from falling.
Didnt want to cry infront of so many ppl. Ran out and went to some void decks to cool down.
Than some rollerbladding kids came over to comfort me.
They kept asking why.. and i told them a Big brother lied to me.
Little Girl: Nevermind.. i ask my mumy to scold him!
Tottally awwwwed.... They are so young, naive, innocent and sweet.
Made my way back to skatepark, saw alice looking for me. Oops =X
Didnt realise Taufiq was at the park all along, at the far end corner.
Approached him, and he ran away. Chased after him. Damn retarded.
We played hide and seek for a couple of hours before i gave up.
BAck to the park, trying hard to get back the teddy bear.
Hamtie: Its just a bear afterall
Blandon: To you may be nothing. To him its something.
Hamtie: If its nth to me, why would i try so hard to get the bear back?
Blandon took the bear and skate off. Chased after him.
After Brian and Blandon left Taifiq and me alone.. finally got to talk face to face after one week.
His sweet talks doesnt work.. but his tears makes me melt.
Even though i felt so weak, i forced myself to be harsh. I just had to let go.
Thrash out all the bastard stuff he did... and said
- I dont love you anymore
He cried again.. and i dont know what to do.
He asked if i had a new guy. Thinkin now's the only chance to make him let go,
I told him i like Brian alot.. Before, during, and after our relationship.
At the point.. he broke down again. So after all the up and downs,
I was the one who end up crying bitterly while he was trying to console me -.-
So we made a promise. He promise to leave, and i promise to keep the bear.

Its over. Yeah... Over...
3 years of cyber stuff. 1 month of Reality.

Anyway.. Sorry Brian. For using you as a lie. Hope you understand :S


Damn... I cried so loudly infront of so many people today >_<