The Sucide

29 august 2007; Wednesday

Grandma came into my room, waking me up for school.
She sreamt when she saw blood all over my bed and wall,
with razor blades all over the floor.
I was too weak to say - Dun worry, im ok.
She was crying and holding me tight, until the ambulance came.
I'm use to blood, leakin out from my cuts.
Just that this time was a little more deeper and bloodish.
Force myself back to school after the nurse got my cuts cleaned.
Teachers councelled me, principle assign me to see a shrink.
After school, when Mr Nison and Mr tan walked pass me,
Mr Tan whispered: ..Ham changed so much
I dunnoe what that means. But its bothering me.
Ah paii keep wanting to see me. While i ignored.
And theres a list of 80 - 100 miss calls.
Chill with nadra at the playground. Lotsa stuff going on.
Its always hard to let go, if u ever fell inlove with tat someone.
Hmm...Have to keep reminding and forcing myself to face up to reality,
Dun be too indulge with all the sweet words.. and lie to myself tat he is mr nice MAT.

Got home, Grandma brewed some weird chinese medicine. DANG!!
Felt weak and tired.. but didnt want to lock myself in the room and start being emo-natic.
Took my deck, went off to skate park to meet Panty.
She always have her weirdest way to make me laugh... :D