Guy Behind the Mask

Guy behind the Mask
31 August 2007; Friday

After cheerleading, went tamp to browse around for Brians' Bdae present,
and get some knives blades and razor at the same time.
At the piercing gallery, caught sight of a navel stud.. Love at first sight.
Could'nt resist, bought it for 38 buck >_<
Went to skate as the usual friday.
Kien and his jackass friends came.. They stripped themselve naked in the middle of the park,
skate and do video. DAMN!!
Alice went: SMALL and i Went: TINY!!!
F*CK... we lost our virgin of dick sighting!!!!
Those strippers shows no respect to Girls and themself. Attention seekers, F*cking disgusting. Reatards.
Niwae.. Kiens' rather a nice guy. Haaa
And luke is really sweet to alice XD


30 August 2007; Thursday

DAMN!!! I'm so awake right now!! I've seen through everything!
Can't belive Ah Paii is that kind of guy :(

We fell out last night, but this morning he still call me Baby, honey and all that, eew.
Didnt reply a single msg since last night after the breakup.
But in class.. still feeling down, looking at our pictures, readin his messages, deleting them one by one
Thinking back how we used to be.. where we first met.. the sweet things we did, promises we made. Memories.
I cant explain this feeling... its weird. I wanna forgive him, but that would make things worse.
Since im freed ... i should'nt go back anymore. But i kept looking back, asif i left somthing behind.
Indeed.. i left one last thing. Knowing the True Him.

He told Nadra that i begged him for sex.. He didnt want to,
but he did it just to make me happy.........!!!
Jerk!! And fu*k... Damn bustard! Tottally disgusted =(

He Said: I wanted to have sex and i beg him for it.
The Truth: He wanted to have sex and force me for it !!!!

He Said: He kissed my neck, i got high. Being responsible, he stopped. He dunwan to do the 'wrong' thing.
The Truth: He was all over me, forcing to take off my clothes. He stopped when i got frightened and started to cry.

Trying too hard make me sound like some slut desperate for sex.. Damn Fu*king bastard.

Forgive.. but will never forget.

* I was blind and dumb for 3 years, having a crush on a cyber skaterboi
* And for three years, he have been lying and lying. About his past, his life, and himself.
* 1 August 07, when i was in my weakest.. and have no one by my side. He picked me up.
* We became cyber stuff to reality
* 1 week of sweetness and honeymoon.
* On our second date, he argued, scolded, humilated and screamt at me, outside cineleisure.
* I didnt walk away.. because he didnt walk away when i needed someone. Tat was a big mistake.
* On our third date,his friend suggest Gangbang.
* He told me he fell out with his friend. But i dont know what were the conversation they really had.
* On our forth date... He tried to force a sex.
* Lost faith, lost trust.. guys are all the same.
* The day after we broke up, he went ard tellin ppl it was me who begged him fer sex.
* He kept pesperin me. He is psycho.. crazy.. i dunnoe.
* But one thing i know. I dont love you anymore. =)

Thanks nadra... I could have foolishly forgave him thinkin he really LOVE me..
Love is seriusly.. tottally.. fucking blind.
And i cant figure out why the hell would i ever be so dumb and naive.. damn. so not me.