Forgery
Forgery
31 July 2007; Tuesday
Despite knowing the fact that its a criminal offence
And the consequence to bear is very serious
I still took a risk towards this slim chance,
and gave it to Miss Oh.
Tears of anger rushed into my eyes,
when Miss Oh took me out of class
Cause i already know i lost,
and the un-imaginable consequences would be coming my way
in the most unexpected days.
Walking back to class, holding back my tears,
I dont want my classmate to see another side of me.
But the way they cared and comforted me..
I just cant be strong anymore.
Because my mind was overwhelmed by mockery and all the problems i had recently,
I just turned blank with thoughts of sucide in my mind.
But i know it wont work out,
cause there's many things i cant bear to leave behind...
While i was writing my statement, my heart got weaker.
Cant belive an inked pieced of paper could lead me to this state.
All in my mind was'nt the heavy punishment im gonna face..
But thinking of words to seek for Grandma's forgiveness.
Mr.Lee, the father of students, spoke to me.
' Because i only know.. All childs were'nt born to be Bad"
He asked if i had a close friend to share my problems with
I couldnt think of one.
Cause i had only shared joy and laughters with all my friends.
He asked about my Family
And came to know my parents divorced,
Dad started a new family at thailand, and visits me thrice a year
Mum had a family too, but that was when i'm two
and ive yet to see her before.
His eyes turns a slightly red..
' I know how you feel.. cause i've once been you.
My dad passed away when i was 4 months old,
But lucky to have a strong mum whom brought us up.
Everytime in school, when i see Dads picking their kid up
I was asking myself.. where dad went.
When a dad cares for his child..
I want to call out for Dad..
But who can i call out to...?"
"you missed your mum"
Uncontrollable tears came down automatically.
There was a mix of Miss, Hate, love, Fear and anger
causing a confusion in me.
Down the road, i would be having many obstacle to face.
But Mr Lee made it simple.. and showed me the one by one road
"tommorow, you do your suspension from class, and detention after school,
The rest, leave it to the school. concentrate in changing into a better person first"
"and promise me.. not to do it again"
I went home, things didnt turned out as expected.
Grandma didnt scold or went crazy..
She just told me.. no matter what happen, she would be by my side.
That was my wish in class today when mr Gun told us
"When khidir commited an offence, his Father said
:Please dun let my son get heavy punishment"
The whole class was touched.
Alone in my room.
A me, A knife, and a decission.
I've thought it so long..
Why should i kill myself.. to run away...
i didnt want to face it either.
But i wanted a dead feeling, so i could reborn in illusions.
I stabbed myself not to kill,
but to ink my mothers' name.
I cant have her in reality..
So her name shall stay with me till my very last breath.
31 July 2007; Tuesday
Despite knowing the fact that its a criminal offence
And the consequence to bear is very serious
I still took a risk towards this slim chance,
and gave it to Miss Oh.
Tears of anger rushed into my eyes,
when Miss Oh took me out of class
Cause i already know i lost,
and the un-imaginable consequences would be coming my way
in the most unexpected days.
Walking back to class, holding back my tears,
I dont want my classmate to see another side of me.
But the way they cared and comforted me..
I just cant be strong anymore.
Because my mind was overwhelmed by mockery and all the problems i had recently,
I just turned blank with thoughts of sucide in my mind.
But i know it wont work out,
cause there's many things i cant bear to leave behind...
While i was writing my statement, my heart got weaker.
Cant belive an inked pieced of paper could lead me to this state.
All in my mind was'nt the heavy punishment im gonna face..
But thinking of words to seek for Grandma's forgiveness.
Mr.Lee, the father of students, spoke to me.
' Because i only know.. All childs were'nt born to be Bad"
He asked if i had a close friend to share my problems with
I couldnt think of one.
Cause i had only shared joy and laughters with all my friends.
He asked about my Family
And came to know my parents divorced,
Dad started a new family at thailand, and visits me thrice a year
Mum had a family too, but that was when i'm two
and ive yet to see her before.
His eyes turns a slightly red..
' I know how you feel.. cause i've once been you.
My dad passed away when i was 4 months old,
But lucky to have a strong mum whom brought us up.
Everytime in school, when i see Dads picking their kid up
I was asking myself.. where dad went.
When a dad cares for his child..
I want to call out for Dad..
But who can i call out to...?"
"you missed your mum"
Uncontrollable tears came down automatically.
There was a mix of Miss, Hate, love, Fear and anger
causing a confusion in me.
Down the road, i would be having many obstacle to face.
But Mr Lee made it simple.. and showed me the one by one road
"tommorow, you do your suspension from class, and detention after school,
The rest, leave it to the school. concentrate in changing into a better person first"
"and promise me.. not to do it again"
I went home, things didnt turned out as expected.
Grandma didnt scold or went crazy..
She just told me.. no matter what happen, she would be by my side.
That was my wish in class today when mr Gun told us
"When khidir commited an offence, his Father said
:Please dun let my son get heavy punishment"
The whole class was touched.
Alone in my room.
A me, A knife, and a decission.
I've thought it so long..
Why should i kill myself.. to run away...
i didnt want to face it either.
But i wanted a dead feeling, so i could reborn in illusions.
I stabbed myself not to kill,
but to ink my mothers' name.
I cant have her in reality..
So her name shall stay with me till my very last breath.
posted by Hamtaro (o'-'o) @ 12:05 PM
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